Lab Chat

Dumb: Hey! You can sit over
here, newbie.

Dumber: **sigh** Will you ever stop
calling me that?

Dumber: I’ve been here for more
than half a year already!

Dumb: So what? That doesn’t change
the fact you are still the latest
addition to the team.

Dumber: Even still, could you
please cut me some slack?
I have a name, you know?

Dumb: Alright, fine. The previous newbie
didn’t seem to care. though.

Dumber: You mean the guy I’m
replacing, right?

Dumb: Yeah. But you are replacing him…

Dumber: **gulp** Permanently? Is he.

Dumb: Dead? Of course not!
Dumb: He’s even worse.

Dumber: Worse than dead?

Dumb: He dared to piss off our
supervisor. I shudder to imagine
where is he now.

Dumber: You are exaggerating.

Dumb: Do you really think so?

Dumber: Come on! Angela is just
one more saleswoman! I don’t know
why everyone is so utterly terrified
of her.

Dumb: **snicker** Heh. That’s exactly what
got the other guy fired.
Dumb: Even if he heard the gossip and the
stories, he believed she was just “one
more corporate”.

Dumber: Well, I don’t think being a bossy
witch entitles her to be something more.

Dumb: **panicked** Hush! Are you nuts?
Do you want to wake up in the dump or
something? How dare you call her that!

Dumber: I mean, isn’t it the truth?

Dumb: You can always ask her directly.

Dumber: **dry chuckle** I think I’ll pass…

Dumb: You better shut up then. If you
talk about Angela, be sure to tell things
you are willing to repeat to her.
Dumb: She has eyes and ears everywhere.

Dumber: Is she really that into gossip?

Dumb: **sigh** You really don’t get it, do you?
Dumb: Information is power.
Dumb: The more she knows about you, the easier
it will be for her to crush you to bits.

Dumber: Why would she want to do that?

Dumb: To make sure you don’t get
in her way.
Dumb: We all have goals, and her goal is
to reach beyond the stars.
Dumb: Or so they say.
Dumb: Anyway, she knows pretty much
everyone in this city. Both the right
people and the wrong people. Even the
CEO is afraid of her.

Dumber: Seriously, you guys treat her as
if she was a merciless goddess
or something.

Dumb: She is.
Dumb: Don’t you remember how she treated
Mister Burkhart?

Dumber: Mister Burkhart?

Dumber: Oh! That old geezer with
the purple shirt. What a prick.

Dumb: Believe it or not, he was worse in the past.

Dumber: Really?

Dumb: Yeah. I heard that he once knocked
down a few guys from security. He truly
was a scary man.

Dumber: Yikes…

Dumb: But Angela was his friend, even after
the accident. I dare say she was his only
human friend.

Dumber: Human friend?

Dumb: He has bought quite a few robots
from here. One woman and a bunch of kids.
All version four. Except for the woman.

Dumber: The redhead, right? The
one we activated.

Dumb: Exactly. I wish I could have
seen her in action.

Dumber: Are you serious? Creepy! Just the
way she looked gave me goosebumps.

Dumb: **chuckle** If you don’t like robots
why are working you here?

Dumber: How could I not work here? The
salary is surreal. Even if I wet my pants every
time I saw one I would still work here.

Dumb: Are you afraid of them?

Dumber: What?

Dumb: Do you fear them because they are like you?

Dumber: What are you babbling?
They are not like me!

Dumb: Heh. That’s where you are wrong.
Dumb: That version 5. That redhead.
She is perhaps more human than
the both of us together.

Dumber: You’ve lost it.

Dumb: Have I?
Dumb: That robot can cry.
Dumb: That robot can laugh.
Dumb: That robot can think.
Dumb: And not only that…
Dumb: That robot can feel.
Dumb: I can’t quite believe we’ve got this far.

Dumber: And I can’t quite believe
your words.

Dumber: She’s just a piece
of metal. An invention made by man.
We cannot create something bigger
than ourselves.

Dumber: Not even God has done
something like that.

Dumb: What if we are greater than God?

Dumber: …

Dumb: Nothing is impossible. We
make our own limits, sometimes,

Dumber: **sarcastic** Heh. I think Plato
would’ve loved to hear you saying that.

Dumb: Very funny. How about if I give you
one of her memories and then you tell me
if she’s human or not.

Dumber: Memories?

Dumb: Didn’t they tell you this in
the training course?
Dumb: **sigh** Anyway, all version 4 and
version 5 robots periodically send
feedback of what they think, hear and see.
Dumb: It’s as if you were inside of them.
Dumb: Sadly, I don’t have access to them,
but I know a guy who does. I could ask
him. I’m sure he will give you one.
I’ve seen quite a lot already.
Dumb: But I couldn’t keep watching
hers. That poor girl has undergone
horrible things.

Dumber: I may be a newbie, but man,
you sure are a drama queen!

Dumb: How can you be so stubborn?
Dumb: At any rate, when lunch break
is over, we’ll meet that guy.
Dumb: We’ll see who’s the drama
queen after you watch a few of
her memories.

Dumber: Want to wager, old man?

Dumber: If I win, you will stop
calling me newbie, and if I lose,
you can call me whatever you want.

Dumber: Deal?

Dumb: Sure.

Dumber: It’s on then.

Dumb: Good luck, newbie.
Dumb: You are gonna need lots of it.